Orange Balloons and Pina Coladas
by xLilyFlower28
Summary: A short little marauder's oneshot fic, simply here to amuse you. It doesn't have much Lily in it it's pure marauder stupidity. Hope you like it!


**Orange Balloons and Pina Coladas**

A/N: thank you to my dearest beta, Doris.

A/N: This fic is here purely to amuse you. It has nothing to do with Lily (kind of). It's mainly a simple, silly, marauders' oneshot. Hope you enjoy!

"Ballooooon. Ballllllooon." James Potter said to himself softly as he lightly squeezed an orange balloon. He stared at the balloon with great interest and poked at it like a 3-year-old.

"Er- Yeah, so, You have a blue one with a stick stift?" Sirius black asked with confusement.

"A stick _shift_. Are you foreign or something?" The Rent- A- Car- Lady asked him, with a look in her eyes that clearly said she thought he was crazy.

"Yes, He's foreign. He's my cousin, he's from France." Remus Lupin said, stepping in.

"And I suppose the balloon- obsessed child is foreign too?" The Lady said, looking at James with that same look that said she thought he was crazy.

"Yes. So you have blue four-seater with a stick shift?" Remus repeated.

"Yes, it's in the parking lot, Here are the keys." Rent- a – Car- Lady said, accepting a check from Remus. "You have it until next Tuesday."

"Thanks." Remus replied, motioning for James and Sirius to come with him. Sirius walked out staring at all the cars in amazement, and James just kept walking, playing with his balloon.

The marauders were on vacation. It the was the summer before their 7th year, and their parents finally thought they were old enough to go out alone…well, at least most of their parents thought they were old enough. Peter's parents still didn't approve. The marauders were currently residing in Maui, Hawaii. They needed a way to get around, being as they couldn't apparate in the middle of a muggle-filled island. Remus had recently gotten his driver's license, and so a car seemed like the most practical answer. And James agreed with this whole car idea, being as when they got to the rent-a-car dealer, they had given him a balloon.

"Shot front seat!" Sirius said, sticking his tongue out at James and Jumping over the door, into the front seat. James just glanced at him as though he were crazy for thinking that he cared, and continued to stare into his balloon, as he opened the door to the back seats and got in.

"Remus… what are you doing?" Sirius asked, as Remus began to drive.

"I'm driving… haven't you ever seen anbody drive before?" Remus said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"No…" Sirius said in awe, amazed by the concept of rotating a wheel and pushing on a pedal. Remus rolled his eyes and continued driving.

**3 hours, 12 pina coladas, and one less balloon later**

"We'll have another round of pina coladas." Remus said to the waiter at 'Seafood Larrys'.

"Hahahahaha Padfoooot. Your name is funny. Padddddddd and fooooooot. Feet are smelly. Are your feet smelly? No! I don't want your foot fungus!" James said to Sirius, both of them a bit tipsy.

"Prongs what are you talking about! My foot fungus tastes good! Look!" At this, Sirius picked an unidentified object off of his foot and shoved it in James' mouth. James chewed it for a few seconds then spit it out with a look of disgust on his face.

"Auuuughhh! It taste like cheese and chocolate mixed together! Blaaaaaah."

"See! It tastes good!" Sirius said proudly, chugging down another pina colada.

"You guyssss! Stop eating foot fungus. Ear wax tastes so much better." Remus stuck a finger in his ear and pulled out a glop of ear wax and pushed it into Sirius' mouth.

"Mmm! Tastes like vanilla! Yum!" Sirius picked up his spoon happily and was about to put it in Remus' ear, looking for more ear wax when James stopped him.

"Padfoot! How stupid are youuu? You never eat earwax with a spoon! You always use a knife." James said happily, handing Sirius his knife.

"Ooh! Haha, thanks Prongs! You're soooo smart." This time, Remus objected.

"No! I like my ear where it is! You know, on my head." Remus said, putting his hands over his ears.

"Moony is a party pooper! Hahaha. Pooper. Poop. Poop. Poop! Hahahaha. Poop!" Sirius continued laughing, and apparently laughing a bit much, because he fell out of his chair.

"Ouchhhh. Moony help me up, you big pooface."

"Padfoot, you're stupid. I can't help you up! You're too far away!" However, Sirius was actually sitting mere inches away from Remus. None of the marauders were all too smart when they were drunk.

"Fine! We're soo over Moony. All these years and this is how it ends! Blahhh you, Moony." Sirius said, getting up and walking drunkly out of the restaurant. Remus followed him and after about 2 minutes, James realized that both of his friends weren't there anymore.

"Uhh." James looked around, and saw a full pina colada sitting where Remus was sitting a few minutes ago. James smiled and chugged it, before leaving a $50 bill on the table and walking out to find Remus and Sirius. James didn't need to walk to far before finding them.

"Hey Ladies… How you doin'?" Sirius said with a wink to two middle-aged men. They gave him strange looks and continued walking.

"They call me milk cause I do a body gooooood!" Remus said with drunken laughs to a group of about 5 girls. They all giggled but continued walking.

"I think… I think we should go back to the hotel." Sirius suddenly said, looking as though he were about to pass out.

"But… Padfoot… I wanna find a hot girl that I can shamelessly bang because I'm drunk out of my mind!" James whined.

"Well Prongs… Lily Evans is back at our hotel!" Sirius said with a smile.

"Really? What are we waiting for! Come on! Let's go!" James said, running across the street and to the left.

"But Padfoot… Lily isn't at our hotel…" Remus said confusedly.

"Yup. But James doesn't know that." Sirius said with a grin, following James.

"Uhhh you guys… are you sure this is the way to our hotel?" Remus said, not recognizing anything. But then again, he figured that he would probably recognize something if he were sober, so they were probably going in the right direction.

By some miracle, 30 minutes later, they were at their hotel, putting the key into the lock and walking into their room.

"Oh Lily! I knew you would be here, just like Padfoot said! Oh come here baby, I've been waiting for you!" James then proceeded a nearby lamp. "Lily…" James smiled as he caressed the lamp and started to take off the shade. "Ouch Lily… you're really bright. Wowwww." James fumbled with the lamp until he managed to turn it off. "Oh, that's a lot better sweetie, why didn't you just do that in the first place?" James continued caressing Lily.

"Man Prongs, get a room! We don't want to see you having gay sex with Snape!" Sirius attempted to shield his eyes from James and the lamp (Snape/Lily).

"Ahhh! Snape! When did you get here! What did you do with Lily? Ahhhh!" James tossed the lamp up, attempting to rid himself of 'Snape germs'. The lamp came back down, and crashed, landing in many pieces on the floor.

"Whoaaa. Fireworks." Sirius said, staring at the lamp on the ground, right before passing out on the floor.

"Yum! I love cheesecake! Where's the spork?" Remus said with a smile, passing out next to Sirius.

"Guysssss? What happened? Why are you all on the floor? Is it nappy time? I like nappy time! Yay!" James sat down on the floor between Sirius and Remus and in short time, was also passed out.

Well, this is going to be an interesting vacation.

A/N: Please review, hope you liked it!


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